how original .

if u dont eat girls out but you expect head ur a little bitch

ceesquatch:

when an animal doesn’t like me it really impacts my self esteem 

thedevilswaiting:

The original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead.

The artwork is too great not to reblog. 

Ok, ok - important expansion: she only has to kill the Prince because the deal was if he fell in love with her she could be human forever, and he didn’t. By which I mean, he was a good person and genuinely nice to her, but he didn’t fall in love. He fell in love with someone else, also perfectly nice - not the seawitch in disguise, fu Disney. The Mermaid is told she can only return to the sea now if she kills the Prince. She goes into the room where he and his lover lie sleeping and they look so beautiful and happy together that she can’t do it.

That’s why she kills herself. And because it was a noble act she returns to sea as foam.

One moral of the story was that women shouldn’t fundamentally change who they are for love of a man, and in theory Han Christian Anderson wrote it for a ballerina with whom he fell in love. She was marrying someone else who wouldn’t let her dance.

Holy shit

tardis-thehauntedsexysnogbox:

padalemons:

insertfandomnamehere:

just a few things i’ve collected about tumblr’s view on parenting

dont forget this gem:

this entire post just made my day

Even when I’m not horny I’m still pretty horny

Plans for when I get my own place with someone I love
Wake up.
Have sex.
Make breakfast.
Have sex.
Go to work & wish I was home.
Come home.
Have a snack.
Have sex.
Watch tv.
Get distracted by sex.
Continue having sex.
Take a shower.
Have sex in the shower.
Cook dinner.
Have sex.
Go to sleep.

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother